Friday 17 October 2014

Mumbling

I do not know why i could'nt update my blog and can't log in.But lucky today, am able to do it.

Somewhere last week, i watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose, based on true story of Annelise Michel. Although i didn't watch from the beginning, but the story helps and link to what happened to me in 2004. The lawyer and witnesses argumentation helps me understand well what happened to me. And why some medication provided by hospital can't cure my sickness. Because in  my case, it is my spiritual was sick, not my mental..probably yes, am really scared that turn me into exorcist.

But am very grateful that am still alive, although am not recovered yet. Well, with optimistic, hypnotherapy, continuous religious medication, mental control, little knowledge on neuro linguistic programming, am no longer hysteria. Outside i might look very healthy, but inside only Allah knows things how i feel. Sometimes i feel that i need some help, to get me overcome the trauma and fobia. Sometimes, i wish that i lose my memory and let all the bad memories gone. Sometimes, i wish that i died 10 years ago. But i know that i shouldn't be pessimist.

Being sick makes me appreciate life. Yes, i didn't deny that i have a lot of problem, as i continue my study, i don't have enough time for myself. I don't want to stress myself so much. I don't want to think so much. If things happened, let it be. I can't control something that is out of my hand, as Allah already plan my journey.I believe when my friend once told me, work life balance. Although am single, it still applicable to me.

One thing that i realize is communication. How important communication is. I don't want to comment, but if i have my own family, i want to try my best to communicate effectively and positively to my children and husband. I don't want to hurt them, with negative thoughts and cancerous communication.

I don't want my children grow up to be a stressful, bad tampered person, i want my children to have a healthy emotion. I also don't want to be a wife whose gonna hurt her husband ears with negative communication. Well, i hope that one day i will meet someone who not only love me, but have a good vision in a marriage. Love can fade anyway, but vision always remain stronger because it is person principle.(my opinion)

Ok i will continue sometimes later...if am not busy..nitez...

Tuesday 16 September 2014

September

I finally finish my exam..I can't say much about it..well i can admit that am really bad with calculation...now
am concentrating to both my Financial Management assignment...am also concentrating on opening the **** kind of business..InshaAllah..Aamin..I must admit at first it is quite hard..and with limited time am struggling to make some research on how to kick-start

For my Lexus, Alhamdulilah so far i can prevent myself from bankruptcy...i don't want to say much with the lawyer...Well, i still have pressure to accomplish the payment..since the car is lost with my stupid ex..that crazy man must be dead somewhere..Since i was sitting exam, i just sign the deal with the lawyer firm Sankaran Halim.. i don't want to think much and got headache due to this issue



Honestly, after my experience with my two ex...i will not believe any man easily...especially those man who have plenty...plenty... of luxury car...They are just pretending...actually they are predator of woman $$$$

Enough saying, i just come back from my office to sign job appraisal..i got 82% improve from last year...Everything excellent, only understanding part of my work is quite low.Well, i admit that am weak at that. I have a lot of plan for my future.. i plan to attend more and more professional course in the future.

Insha Allah Nebosh course, Cisco(Project Management), HSE, ISO Certified...well i hope it will help me if i move to private sectors in the future, Aaminn...






Thursday 28 August 2014

August 2014

Hi, Eid Mubarak celebration already end..

I have been very busy ever since I started my degree course at IGS Lim Kok Wing University. Nothing much happened, except that am just busy with my study. I tried to avoid continuing my study at ITB, knowing the course will be very difficult( through my HND experience)..but to my surprised, the course at Lim Kok Wing in Brunei is very tiring. We have a lot of assignment and test to do in 5 months studying...Next week will be examination but we still have 3 more assignment left. Some presentation will be held after examination and one assignment will be distributed after exam...What? After final exam still have assignment to do??
 
The only thing that I love over here is the environment. The people are friendly and open minded, although they are officers and government. I feel very tired and stressed. But..every time I stress out, I will watch Marilyn Monroe picture or videos to melt my stress.OK enough say about studying..
 
In the office, my boss transfer me to Finance section. The work here is quite simple and straightforward.Alhamdulilah, I manage to learn a lot over here.I think in the future I will post some pictures of my activities, Insyallah
 
Ok see u again friend

 

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