I do not know why i could'nt update my blog and can't log in.But lucky today, am able to do it.
Somewhere last week, i watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose, based on true story of Annelise Michel. Although i didn't watch from the beginning, but the story helps and link to what happened to me in 2004. The lawyer and witnesses argumentation helps me understand well what happened to me. And why some medication provided by hospital can't cure my sickness. Because in my case, it is my spiritual was sick, not my mental..probably yes, am really scared that turn me into exorcist.
But am very grateful that am still alive, although am not recovered yet. Well, with optimistic, hypnotherapy, continuous religious medication, mental control, little knowledge on neuro linguistic programming, am no longer hysteria. Outside i might look very healthy, but inside only Allah knows things how i feel. Sometimes i feel that i need some help, to get me overcome the trauma and fobia. Sometimes, i wish that i lose my memory and let all the bad memories gone. Sometimes, i wish that i died 10 years ago. But i know that i shouldn't be pessimist.
Being sick makes me appreciate life. Yes, i didn't deny that i have a lot of problem, as i continue my study, i don't have enough time for myself. I don't want to stress myself so much. I don't want to think so much. If things happened, let it be. I can't control something that is out of my hand, as Allah already plan my journey.I believe when my friend once told me, work life balance. Although am single, it still applicable to me.
One thing that i realize is communication. How important communication is. I don't want to comment, but if i have my own family, i want to try my best to communicate effectively and positively to my children and husband. I don't want to hurt them, with negative thoughts and cancerous communication.
I don't want my children grow up to be a stressful, bad tampered person, i want my children to have a healthy emotion. I also don't want to be a wife whose gonna hurt her husband ears with negative communication. Well, i hope that one day i will meet someone who not only love me, but have a good vision in a marriage. Love can fade anyway, but vision always remain stronger because it is person principle.(my opinion)
Ok i will continue sometimes later...if am not busy..nitez...
Somewhere last week, i watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose, based on true story of Annelise Michel. Although i didn't watch from the beginning, but the story helps and link to what happened to me in 2004. The lawyer and witnesses argumentation helps me understand well what happened to me. And why some medication provided by hospital can't cure my sickness. Because in my case, it is my spiritual was sick, not my mental..probably yes, am really scared that turn me into exorcist.
But am very grateful that am still alive, although am not recovered yet. Well, with optimistic, hypnotherapy, continuous religious medication, mental control, little knowledge on neuro linguistic programming, am no longer hysteria. Outside i might look very healthy, but inside only Allah knows things how i feel. Sometimes i feel that i need some help, to get me overcome the trauma and fobia. Sometimes, i wish that i lose my memory and let all the bad memories gone. Sometimes, i wish that i died 10 years ago. But i know that i shouldn't be pessimist.
Being sick makes me appreciate life. Yes, i didn't deny that i have a lot of problem, as i continue my study, i don't have enough time for myself. I don't want to stress myself so much. I don't want to think so much. If things happened, let it be. I can't control something that is out of my hand, as Allah already plan my journey.I believe when my friend once told me, work life balance. Although am single, it still applicable to me.
One thing that i realize is communication. How important communication is. I don't want to comment, but if i have my own family, i want to try my best to communicate effectively and positively to my children and husband. I don't want to hurt them, with negative thoughts and cancerous communication.
I don't want my children grow up to be a stressful, bad tampered person, i want my children to have a healthy emotion. I also don't want to be a wife whose gonna hurt her husband ears with negative communication. Well, i hope that one day i will meet someone who not only love me, but have a good vision in a marriage. Love can fade anyway, but vision always remain stronger because it is person principle.(my opinion)
Ok i will continue sometimes later...if am not busy..nitez...
